There's no doubt that marriage counselling can be enormously helpful when you're having problems -- but what about before problems begin? Every marriage will have some obstacles and challenges, and if you have pre-marital counselling you'll be better prepared to manage those when they occur. Here are the big advantages of pre-marital counselling.
Have the Potentially Problematic Discussions -- Before They Turn Into a Problem
Pre-marital counselling is a great chance to have those potentially problematic discussions before they come up and cause sudden problems. By discussing potentially hot button topics before the marriage, you'll know what you're getting into -- and you'll be able to go into the marriage with an understanding that you'd never have had otherwise. Some of the topics that you'll discuss include potentially problematic issues such as:
- Children: do you want children? Does your future spouse feel the same way? What about the timeline in which you're both ready for children?
- Finances: joint bank account or separate bank accounts? How will bills be divided and paid?
- Work and leisure time balance: are you a workaholic or a person who enjoys holidays every month? Does your future spouse agree?
- Religion: were you raised with the same religious beliefs? Do you share religious beliefs now?
- Politics: are politics important to you? How does your spouse feel? Do you share political beliefs?
Pre-marital counselling allows you and your partner to work through disagreements about these significant and serious topics, so you'll both know what you're facing together.
Become a Team Instead of Two Individuals
Pre-marital counselling offers you the unique opportunity to become a team. One of the best ways to build a team -- even a team of two -- is to foster great communication. Your pre-marital counsellor can help you develop the techniques that you need to communicate openly and honestly, and this can help you deal with problems. The main reason for the failure of many marriages is poor communication, and pre-marital counselling helps you avoid this pitfall completely.
It's quite common for communication to shut down when a marriage encounters challenges. A communication breakdown can mean that instead of talking with each other, you start avoiding each other. Sometimes, communication problems might lead a couple to be passive aggressive with each other, baiting each other constantly, even though it doesn't even really help the problem at all. These behaviours, whilst they might seem like small problems at first, will lead to serious problems and even marriage breakdown. By having an open line of communication, you'll recognise these problematic behaviours when they start -- and you can put a stop to them.
As you can see, there are a couple of big advantages to counselling prior to your marriage. Speak to your local marriage counsellor about how they can help you prepare for a successful marriage today!